DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who's a senior in high school, and I've had four of what I call "relationships" during my high school years. All of them have ended, and I'm already looking forward to attend attending college with a fresh start next fall. One of the problems that I've noticed I have is that after each break up, I tended to take at least three months to go over and over why the relationship didn't work out and what could or couldn't have been done earlier in time by me or my partner.

I did have other opportunities to date sooner, but I could never feel like I was in a mental state of mind to begin a new relationship until I had fully hashed out what went wrong with each past breakup. Because I'll be attending a college where only a few of my high school classmates will also be attending, I'm looking forward to dealing with and meeting many new people. How can I avoid spending so much time looking backward if indeed the first relationship I have in college does not work out? — I Always Feel Frozen for a While, via email

I ALWAYS FEEL FROZEN FOR A WHILE: You obviously know really well what happened and why those four relationships eventually ended by now.

Instead of rehashing everything about them, discipline yourself to take a look at them in sequence, starting from the very first one, and write two simple sentences to yourself in a notebook about why each relationship did not work out — nothing more. Keep that notebook handy, and allow yourself to review those eight total sentences anytime you feel you need to. But a key here is to only refer to those sentences, and do not think back about every individual experience you had on various dates, awkward situations or whatever may have transpired in the past. Simply stick to the two headlines sentences only!

Then, as you head off to college in the fall, tell yourself in advance that if a relationship does not work out, you're going to take a week to think about it and write the two brief sentences that best describe why the two of you ended up going your separate ways. Add those two sentences to your notebook, exhale and allow yourself the freedom to not look back and overanalyze anything beyond those headline sentences. You'll feel much more free, relaxed and unencumbered if you can accomplish this.

THE COLLEGE OF MY DREAMS MAKES ME NERVOUS TOO!

DR. WALLACE: I'm nervous! I got accepted to the college of my dreams, but no one that I know of from my existing high school is going to be attending this college, which is 1,500 miles away. So I'm feeling two opposing emotions right now. One is that I'm ecstatic that I was accepted to where I truly want to be for my future career plans, but on the other hand, I'm extremely nervous about stepping onto a campus without knowing a single soul there!

Because of the distance involved, I won't be heading to that campus until two weeks before the semester begins. What can I do to overcome my fear of stepping onto a college campus where I know literally nobody? — Ecstatic but Nervous, via email

ECSTATIC BUT NERVOUS: Think back to how you got to know your friends in high school or grade school, and take comfort in the fact that you were able to make friends in the past. Typically, people become friends with each other over shared experiences, common interests or both.

One of the things you can do in advance is to study this particular college's various clubs and extracurricular activities. Check to see if it's possible to sign up for some of these clubs and activities in advance, perhaps even by the middle of summer, if possible.

Once you're on campus, be bold and ask a fellow student or two if they would be interested in studying together, particularly in a class that you feel you are understanding well. Your early confidence, and hopefully mastery of the beginning course material, may be a valuable asset to you to share with others who may need a little extra coaching early in the school year. If you ask enough people, it's very likely that one or two will take you up on your offer, and within a short period of time you'll feel more comfortable by knowing a few of the students you sit with in class each week.

Play to your strengths and interests when it comes to academics and clubs or activities that you may want to participate in. Something you naturally have an interest in will make you confident in initiating or joining conversations because you will know something about the underlying subject matter. Finally, spend much more time focusing on how ecstatic you are about attending this university rather than worrying in advance over apprehension that you will likely dissolve very early in the new school year.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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